Kawasaki disease (also known as mucocutaneous lymph node syndrome) is a syndrome of unknown cause that results in a fever and mainly affects children under 5 years of age.

The Kawasaki Kids Foundation wants to know your T-shirt size, Boss Rick said earlier. It affects 0.008% of people under the age of 5, and it affects 0% of corporate recall specialists. Therefore, I'm spreading awareness that I do not give a fuck. I like to think Rick Yamamoto is making a well-intentioned (and tax-deductible) donation to charity, but who does he think he's reaching? People like me? I'm not cynical. I'm distracted when I'm working, and I'm distracted when I'm not.

I like to hear about Gazan children being chemically burned. I like to hear about Russian soldiers being raped. I like to hear about the quiet sadness of Mario Galaxy. I don’t like “perianal erythematous desquamation” in my search history. It’s the same for everyone else but with electoral politics, sports, and reality television. Really, the media (and not Rick Yamamoto) decide what gets attention. Christopher Reeve taught us about stem cell research. Damar Hamlin taught us about commotio cordis. Dr. Michael J. Fox and Dr. Muhammad Ali showed the world Parkinson’s disease.

January 26 is equally National Peanut Brittle Day as it is Kawasaki Disease Awareness Day. The only difference is that I’m running 5K for one of them. Kawasaki will stay a motorcycle company until a celebrity’s son gets muco-whatever lymph node syndrome. That fact is what we’re really running from. Rick Yamamoto is not 1978 Superman or a safety for the Buffalo Bills. Maybe to some kids out there, he’s appreciated like a superhero or a football player. I asked Mr. Yamamoto about Damar Hamlin.

He said he didn’t know him.


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